Friday, October 18, 2013
As week three comes to a close, I have realised that after going thru the initial homesickness, you stop missing the big things as much and start to miss the little things. Like specific things people say or do or a certain food or a particular comfort of home or the convenience of life at home. It really makes you appreciate those little things. One big little thing that I miss is being able to be alone and uninterrupted in my room when needed. It's incredibly difficult to be alone here. Most of the time I really love that because it's really nice to always have someone to hang out with and talk to. I have not been bored once since being here. But, on the flip side, when a quiet place is not readily available, you tend to not look for one. At Capernwray, you are constantly learning things about your faith, and one thing I have realised it that I get very distracted when I pray in my head. I wish I could pray aloud, but that is next to impossible here. It is also hard to tear yourself away from the fun everyone else is having to be alone with God. Even though I know God is much better than any earthly friends I could ever make, they still bring me joy and make me laugh. They are incredibly company to keep, and they love God as much if not more than I do. It is crazy! I am so blessed to be in a place like this. God is very present here. I will be honest and say I have not heard His voice since being here, but He is working in other ways. Last night there was an impromptu worship service in the lounge and it was crazy to look around and be able to see God speaking and moving in others at the same time as He is moving in you. I could not say is any better than this: God is good. I would never ask to be anywhere else, but it is sad to be missing out on the little things. I know that my being here is part of a bigger plan, and I praise God for that. It does not change the fact that missing out on those things is hard, though. I suppose they will just be that much sweeter when I return then, and I am okay with that.
Until next time