As I sit in the quiet, I cannot help but notice the deafening tick of the clock on the wall. I sit here writing, just ten short days from departing on an adventure to Australia for a month. An adventure I am hardly prepared for. To get to Australia I have to raise some crazy amount of dollars that hits right above five thousand. I have half of that. But hey, God provides and I fully trust that I will get there. (Though, even in my trust, my stomach aches a little every time I think about it because I am human…) What I am really thinking about, though, is how prepared I am spiritually for this missionary journey. My mind tells me that I haven’t read my bible enough, I’ve worked the last three Sunday mornings, and that I am generally underprepared to sit with someone and share with them how Jesus changed my life and how He should change theirs. I feel unimpressive and underprepared. To be honest with you, I feel a little useless…
But in the midst of these emotions, as the clock ticks away the moments until my adventure begins, I am reminded that this is not a trip about me. This is a trip about the 1.8 million people living in Perth, Australia. It is about the college students there that have never really had God explained to them. It is about opening myself up to be used and equipped by the Spirit. You see, God doesn’t call the qualified, He qualifies the called. What I mean by that, is that I wasn’t called because I am anything spectacular. I was called because I am open and desire to be used in ways that are spectacular. So when I feel useless, I remember that it’s not about me. It’s about God and what He can do. I am merely a vessel. If I believe one thing about my God it is that He is capable of doing unprecedented things. He is miraculous. He is awe-inspiring. He is big, and He will do big things through my team and I if we simply ask Him to. I want students to come to Christ so much, and God wants that for His lost children even more.
So who am I to let myself believe I am useless? If I have faith in the God I am going to tell about, then I have faith that He will use me in exactly the way He desires.
“I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made.” Psalm 139:14
“Then the Lord put out his hand and touched my mouth. And the Lord said to me, ‘Behold, I have put my words in your mouth.’” Jeremiah 1:9