College... I do not know if it is a dreaded, anticipated, or largely unexciting word but it always seems to come up right about the age of sixteen or seventeen. Then once you hit eighteen and you have researched, toured, and finally chosen a school the follow-up question hits the market. "What are you going to study?" Well I considered Canadian studies, floral management, auctioneering, but ironically landed on decision sciences. Not! I am going to college to study... yeah, I got nothing. The horrific title of "Undecided." Sure, I know I like art and I have narrowed the list to exclude all math and science related degrees, but that still does nothing to ease the panic of having to choose what I want to do for the rest of my life. Let's take a moment to let that phrase sink in... the rest of my life.
Now, I am not writing to give you all a panic attack or make you reconsider your major once you have already chosen, so I will get to the point. If I am human, I have likes and dislikes which I am aware of. Those will eliminate probably two thirds of the majors available. From there my hobbies and interests will eliminate a bunch more. Then I have the fields I find interesting left. But how do I go from a list to just one? I bet there are many ways I could mess up a decision like this. I bet I will mess it up at least a little bit. I bet I will choose then re-choose at least once. But even in this valley, there is hope for tomorrow because I have God lighting my way. No, I do not think God has or will give me a divine sign stating the major He intends me to pursue. In reality, I do not think it really matters to Him as much as I think it might. Do you want to know why? Because I think that all God really wants for me to pursue is Him. If that means making art or planning weddings or running a charity or advertising products, I think it does not really matter as long I am following Him first. The I am Second movement has a solid point. (www.iamsecond.com) It does not matter if I am an athlete, musician, artist, business person, entrepreneur, doctor, or teacher. What matters is what I put first in my life. What a solid reality check. When I am working my summer job, it is not the kids I nanny that come before everything. When they are naughty, I have to remember to be patient and loving like Jesus was. When I am at school, it is not my studies that come first. I cannot have a clear mind to study if I am constantly thinking about things that are bothering me and not bringing them to God. When I am at home, family time does not trump God time. This one is hard, but I cannot be an example of a daughter or sister if I do not have the help of my Saviour. It seems like such a trivial thing to pursue God first because I am a Christian and that should be a given. But I will say it is my daily struggle and it will be until I join Him in eternity.
So, maybe for now I do not know if I will be an artist, event planner, writer, or charity worker. And maybe that does not matter so much. I will still worry about it, but it will all work out for His glory. So here's to a new adventure of pursuing God first and seeing what follows.