Walking with God

I often find myself going through my day focused on all that I need to get done, bustling around and when I finally fall into bed at night I think back on my day and realise I was entirely consumed with myself or others all day long and very unfocused on God. And to think I'm at bible school. Sometimes I feel inadequate of my place at Bible School, until I realised and remembered that I am not perfect. I will always be held back by human nature and it takes a long time to get rid of old, bad habits. That is no excuse for not praying during my day, but it was something that I needed to recall when I started getting down on myself because of that reason. Before I really started developing my relationship with God, I did not take much care for how often we talked throughout the day, but the desire for that continuous conversation was one of the main reasons I chose to come to Bible School. What a difficult yet rewarding goal to try to achieve! I often still find myself getting to the end of a day with a lack of prayer, but it isn't a one day switch. I'll be working on this through to the end of Bible School, and for every day after for the rest of my life. But the reward comes in those God moments you get to experience while trying to accomplish the goal. I have had the extreme joy of experiencing God in a very real way on one of my walks. I was talking to God while on a walk alone, and I turned next to me as if I was talking to a real person because I had forgotten that God wasn't visually present. I felt him there and turned to talk to Him like he was there and it was amazing to experience that very real presence. Even in the smaller circumstances like talking to a friend that you can see God in, or seeing someone doing a kindness for someone when they are hurting. One of the greatest things about Bible School is experience God in such a real way. It is something that I intend to take back with me and pass along. It's a real gift to be able to see God in the little things.

"The One" and Dr. Seuss Crossroads

I’m not sure if you’ve ever heard of Jefferson Bethke, but he posts videos on youtube about various Christian topics. He has some amazing videos out there like “Counterfeit Gods” and “Why I Hate Religion, But Love Jesus.” I was watching a few of his newer videos the other day and happened upon one entitled “How Do you know Someone is ‘The One,’” and it really got me thinking, like many of Jeff’s videos do. His answer to this question was... there is no “one” and my dreams of fairytale came crashing down. And rightly so. Jeff went on to say that if there was “the one” for each of us, someone must have messed it up somewhere because we’re humans and that’s our method of operation to perpetually mess up without the help of our Savior. Therefore, there couldn’t be one for us, but many people that could make each of us happy, and we get to choose which one fits us best and draws us nearer to God. This logic makes a lot of sense. Jeff continued by saying that we, especially women, become way too obsessed with our ideas of our perfect “one” and it creates an impossible dream that no man will ever be able to fulfill. By this point in the video, my head was reeling. I realized very quickly that I had begun creating a perfect man and it would only create a very sorry, lonely me. But what is more, Jeff had proposed and backed up a view very contrary to what I believed, and it scared me. My mind flipped through faces and back again wondering if my idealistic and utterly unattainable view of my perfect man had made me pass by the right guy for me. I was all of the sudden very confused. This new perspective didn’t make sense to me. I realize now that what it didn’t allow for was my lackadaisical perspective on following God’s plan for my life. I wanted to rely on God to insert the perfect guy into my life at just the right time. But that’s not what He does. I view my life and all the paths it could take much like a Dr. Seuss crossroads. I have many possible paths and I need to discern which path leads me closer to God. But just like in life, there are many possible ways to get from Point A to Point B. From my house I can take probably ten different routes to get to where I’m sitting right now in Starbucks. Two of those take exactly the same amount of time, just having seen different scenery along the way. The point I’m trying to make is this: I believe God allows us a bit of wiggle room in our decisions; the gift of free will. There are a million ways I could go with my life and a thousand that will end up bringing me closer to my Lord and Savior. A hundred of those are paths I would enjoy and learn a lot through. Depending on what course I take according to the decisions I make, life will introduce me to different people. Jeremiah 29:11 says, “‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.’” Our God promises and assures us a life in which we will blossom into beings closer and in better resemblance to Him, if we choose to follow Him. What He does not promise is there will always be one path to choose from nor does He ensure that we will always choose right. He will help us along the way, but we will inevitably mess up and take a less than perfect route. Thus far in my much less than perfect life of decisions, I have had the pleasure of meeting thousands of people. Any one of those thousand, or the thousands more I will meet, could make me very happy and help me to lead a Christ-centered life. God knows the plans He has for me. He knows which path I will end up taking, but it is up to me to take it. He knows the man I will end up choosing, but it is up to me to choose him. I can’t get anywhere if I don’t actually decide where I want to go. I have to take in active role in life, I can’t just expect God to do it for me. I am blessed with the assurance that He has a divine plan, but He can’t live my life for me, and I have realized if I want Him to then I am missing out on living life for myself. I was given the gift of life and I choose to live today, yesterday, and every day forward.

Christmas is Coming!

First term is wrapping up and school is coming to a close before a long break. I’m super excited to go home and see my sisters and parents and friends, but at the same time it is going to be so weird to be away from this place. I honestly love Capernwray. From my roommates to my friends to the lectures to the atmosphere as a whole, I love each and every piece. Save maybe for some of the meals... It is such an encouraging place. I still struggle with different things, but I know there is always someone to listen to me and offer me advice or a prayer. I am truly blessed by the people here each day. It’s so odd to think that I’ve only been here for three months. And yet I have learned so much. Here’s just a few things:

• God’s plan is superior
• My life was given for a purpose, and that purpose is to serve my God with my whole heart
• I have some amazing friends that love me a lot
• Lectures and assignments have helped me come to know my Saviour on a deeper level
• God’s plan for my life needs to be sought
• My family is something I deeply cherish, enjoy, and love
• God is a God of miracles

And that’s just a very, very few. I didn’t even go into details about what I’ve learned during lectures. But that is probably because I’m still processing all that information (info overload!). And I am grateful for each thing I have learned. It’s crazy to know that this year is equipping me for the rest of my life. As a Christian, my life should be used to tell the gospel and the more I’m here and the more I learn, the better equipped for life I am.

My Roomies (aka My Family)

Well, this isn’t a typical post for me, but my gorgeous roomies want me to post about them, so I will. Because I love them. Every day I get to wake up to the most awesome six girls I have ever had the chance of living with, and every evening I get to come home to our little family of seven (or should I say eight. We adopted one. :) ) They make my life bright. From our dance parties to our Christmas music debacle, from the newly thrifted Christmas tree on our table to Samm’s funny comments when she’s half asleep, from the advice and comfort they give to our prayers together, they truly are the best. I don’t know how I got so lucky to be with these amazing ladies, but God was certainly good to me. I cannot imagine having any other roommates. It is going to be very hard when Christmas break rolls around and we all have to pack up our stuff knowing that when we all return we won’t be with each other any more. I hate that. I want to stay roommates with them forever. Sure our room is super messy and maybe we should get in bed before midnight each night, but we love each other and that’s all I care about. It makes me sad that all you reading this don’t know them, so I’m going to tell you a bit about each one.

Emilie is from Canada. I’d tell you which province, but let’s be honest, they’re all the same in my mind. She is super fun to be around and is always bursting with energy. We both enjoy our dance parties very much and play on the same floor hockey team here. Canada is Almost America (yes, that is our team name) will be entering the playoffs after an amazing victory tonight. We won 4-2 and Em scored twice. That’s my girl!!! She loves to joke around and laugh her adorable laugh that makes me smile. She is absolutely beautiful inside and out.

Sam is also from Canada. She is such a sweetheart. You can just tell that as soon as you start talking she is listening and really cares to hear what you have to say. She loves to have fun and her dance moves are really good. She reminds me of my little sister in that regard. She has such a kind heart and her caring attitude just melts your heart. She sincerely embodies tender-heartedness and I love that so much.

Clare is also from Canada (sensing a theme?). This sounds funny but she is my adorable, little dinosaur. She is just a cutie through and through, from her clothes to the things she says. I really appreciate her willingness to share, and her tolerance for our loudness when she is going to sleep. She has such a gentle heart, and her outlook on life is very happy and excited. Her love for life is refreshing.

Marissa is from the USA. She lives in a town called Linden on the west coast. She has a mother’s heart through and through. She is tender and caring, but is firm when necessary (like at 12:30 in the morning when we still haven’t turned off the lights). She is very comforting and is always there to listen and give advice when asked. Her faith in the Lord is incredible and very apparent by her life and way of living it. 

Maggie is also from the USA, but was born in Egypt. She is crazy at times, but I love her. She is always thinking of us, and when she gets things, she gets them for the room, and not just for herself. She purchased our Christmas tree, and is always doing funny things. She makes me laugh, but she also is so sweet. She comes up to me nearly every day just to give me a hug and tell me she loves me. I am blessed by her. 

Karen is from Canada too. She is the quietest in our room, but her sincerity is loud and clear even when she is silent. She is slow to speak, but quick to love. She is so passionate about many things in her life like drama and music, and it is so refreshing to behold. She has a beautiful smile and this sweet, soft laugh. I am so grateful for her presence in our room.

And Samm is our adopted roommate. She is Sam’s best friend (I know, lots of Sams). She is from Canada as well. She is so strong at heart but at the same time so incredibly caring. It is a truly beautiful combination. I don’t understand how she manages both sometimes, but she does. Every night she says goodnight to us all individually, and her love is apparent. She is there to rub my back and soothe me when I’m down. It is so amazing to be able to have her in our room even if she doesn’t usually sleep there. She is a wonderful addition to our room, and I am so happy we get to love her on a daily basis.

Those are my roommates in a nutshell. We are crazy. We are loud. We are messy. We are silly. But we are sisters, and I thank God for them each and every day. I love you ladies!

Random Acts of Kindness

I have a challenge for you, my lovely readers. My challenge to you is to do something nice for someone this week. Do it in secret if you’re nervous or just do it outright, but somehow go out of your way to be kind to someone. Now if that seems easy up the numbers. Do kind acts to five people. Maybe try to do one act of kindness every day this week. Crazy, I know. But I’ll tell you, it makes a difference to people.

I feel as though many times we, as Christians or even simply as human beings, have a tendency to sit back on our haunches and watch others pass us by. Of course we have our friends that we love and will do nice things for sometimes, but even at a Bible School there are plenty of people that cross my path each day that just look a little down. My question is, why don’t we ever do something about that? Why not try to be a bright point in a person’s day? I was given a note the other day from a friend. He wrote it for no reason other than to just encourage me. I wasn’t down. I wasn’t crying or angry or frustrated. He did it just ‘cause. The note said that he really cherished our friendship and that he was so glad he got to know me. He said we should hang out soon since we hadn’t in awhile, and you know what? It was really nice. A few days later, a friend complimented me on my kind heart. I had not really realised that I was being that kind, but obviously it is noticeable to others. That’s a really cool thing to learn that one of your qualities really sticks out to others. Last night a different friend said to me, “Hey Sarah. I just wanted to let you know that I’m really impressed by your servant’s heart.” What precious words... I really have been trying to embrace the idea that I should refresh someone each day with a kind word or deed, and therefore be refreshed myself by their reaction. Through this new goal of mine, I have come to know that I truly delight in making others happy. I knew this before, but in the past few days this fact has become so real. I am so blessed by the people here, and I only find it fair to bless those around me in return. 

Now I know my realizations about my life do not apply to you all, but it does not change the fact that you can be refreshed by refreshing others. I challenge you all to refresh yourselves this week. Maybe give a friend a bar of chocolate, or write an encouraging note, draw someone a funny picture, or just give a hug. Let others’ smiles delight your soul. 

Wow!

Hello my lovelies!

Well I'm missing my art a lot right now. I really want to post another DIY for all you independent people out there, but I have no supplies! Gah! I'm working on it, though. I will do my best to find a few and just stock up on supplies next time I'm in town.

But on a more interesting note than my shopping plans, I went to Scotland two weeks ago. We left from Capernwray on Friday (the 1st) in the morning and arrived in Edinburgh, Scotland at around 3 in the afternoon. We spent the rest of that day just walking around and exploring. We walked down the Royal mile and found a pub to eat at for dinner, and just hung out. I was pretty wiped so we ended up heading back to the hostel at a pretty reasonable hour and I watched How to Train Your Dragon and then went to bed. Great movie.
The next day, we just sort of explored. We didn't have anything specific planned so we walked around and ended up going in and seeing a church. Then we grabbed some lunch at a little cafe called Hula. I had some delicious soup and a bagel toastie. It was the perfect lunch to warm me up on that rainy day. After lunch we saw Edinburgh Castle. It was pretty fun. Laura, Marissa, Christian, Sierra, and I weren't really in the museum mood, though, so we ended up reading maybe six signs and laughing our way through the rest of the castle. A little heads up: it's not a traditional castle. It's more of a conglomeration of buildings that served various purposes in their day. We ended up watching the sunset from the castle and then heading out to buy groceries so we could make dinner. It was a nice day, and I snuggled in and watched Pirates of the Caribbean that evening.
Sunday morning, there was a large group of students from school going to a local church. So we all attended and it was a really nice service. It was good to be in the natural swing of church again because church at Capernwray doesn't have the same feel of getting up and actually driving to the church that you spend one or so days at every day. It gives church a different feel when you are not there all the time. The rest of that day, I spent walking to and hiking up Arthur's Seat. It is a big bluff that overlooks the city and it was really pretty. I enjoyed it a lot.
Monday, was the day to go home. I was sad to be leaving my mini vacation, but I missed home. I missed my Capernwray family. I missed coming home to my roommate family in the evenings. So, even though I enjoyed my time, I really realised how much I love the place where I'm at right now. I love my surroundings and the people and my life. God is so prevalent in everything here and I am just happy. God is good, all the time. All the time, God is good.

How are you?

Week four ends today... As I think through my emotions, I realize how happy I am here. The more time I spend in this place, the more I fall in love with the people, the surroundings, and my God’s presence. This place is not without it’s hardships and struggles, but if you fall there are 200 people waiting to help you up. I have some amazing friends and companions and roommates and the like that come alongside me and actually care. There are many times in a person’s life when you are asked simple questions out of habit and not truly out of care for the person. A common greeting is “How are you?” How often do you actually desire to know how the other person is doing? Or how often do you answer honestly? I always answer the same way. “Good, how are you?” But I am realizing that I really do want to know how people are doing. Truly and deeply. I desire to hear about their struggles and what is going on in their head and heart. And I answer honestly too, and that has truly helped me work through lots of the issues I’m having on a day to day basis. I certainly do not have it all together, and there are many things that I still do not understand or know how to handle. But it all seems just a little bit easier.
And then there’s God. He is always there when human relationships just do not suffice. Sometimes you just need Him to help you sort through everything. I am so happy to be able to call on Him no matter where I am. Being here and immersed in the Word is incredibly fulfilling. God fills you from tip to toe, if you let Him, and it is so sweet. If I did not have Him to lean on, I do not know where I would be. Probably sitting in a dark corner going slowly insane. I am so blessed. I am so blessed. I am so incredibly blessed.